


A Few Minor Details

by Sigridhr



Category: Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crack, F/M, Mother-in-Law!Galadriel, non-canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-10
Updated: 2013-01-10
Packaged: 2017-11-24 08:22:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/632382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sigridhr/pseuds/Sigridhr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Galadriel sends a few notes to her daughter's family prior to their visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Few Minor Details

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was thinking about how Galadriel is Elrond's mother in law...   
> This throws canon out the window.

My Dear Celebrían (And Family),

I am so pleased that you are planning to visit us at last \- I am gratified that the last two centuries' worth of pointed birthday cards have not gone to waste. There are, however, a few small issues I wish to address before you arrive, to ensure your visit goes smoothly and to my satisfaction (and yours, of course, my dears). I trust that my directions will be followed promptly and in full.

Elrond – 

I understand that you permit certain things in your house that are not permissible in mine. You will have to find alternative care arrangements for the parade of Dúnedain urchins that seem to be forever muddying up your halls. You know what an ordeal it is to clean the talans. I am aware (and disapprove of) the fact that they are your distant kin, but I refuse to tolerate snotty-nosed mortal ankle-biters running around – you _know_ how hard I work to maintain an ambiance of tranquility and superiority (an ambiance to which scrubby mortal children are not accommodating to). I am not (unfortunately) within rights to prevent you from keeping them, but I can certainly keep them out from under  my roof. (Do not try and convince me that they will be 'no trouble at all'. I have seen what they have done to your upholstery – those chairs were from _Beleriand_ , Elrond! – and I simply won't have it. And before you ask, no, I have not been spying – however, if I have had to use my mirror to look in on you and Celebrían from time to time, it is only because you do not write to tell me how things are.)

Additionally, you are, under no circumstances, allowed to invite any Dwarves into my household – you know how it upsets Celeborn.

Arwen –

My dear – it will be so lovely to see you again after all this time. However, as much as your grandfather and I appreciate your equestrian skills, please refrain from 'borrowing' Glorfindel's horse this time. He'll follow, and you know what a crushing bore he is. If I have to listen to yet another rendition of how much better life was under Turgon, I shall commit a fourth kinslaying. How your father puts up with him, I shall never know. I'd counted us lucky when that Balrog shoved him off a cliff. 

I had thought that you might wish to stay with us for a while – I am growing concerned by your attachment to Elrond's collection of unwashed Edain. We shall have a long discussion, you and I, on the merits of male persons who elect to bathe over those who travel around the wilds with neither soap nor spare hose. 

Elladan and Elrohir –

I will keep this concise in the hope that you might, for once, follow it:

You are not to make up any dirty limericks about Haldir. He has yet to live the last one down, and your senses of humour (and rhyming abilities – 'Haldir's a marchwarden of Lorien / whose tastes are oddly arborean' – _really_ ) do not stand up well to the test of time.

You are not permitted to replace the water in my mirror with alcohol. 

You are not permitted to impersonate one another. I am your grandmother, and I know you both too well for that to be effective. Again.

I understand your father permits you to have Dúnedain friends. They are not invited.

 

Celebrían

We so look forward to seeing you, my dear. I do wish you would do something with your hair for once when you come. I understand that a marriage becomes somewhat lackluster past the first millenium, but that's no reason to let yourself go. You are such a pretty girl – but that's no excuse to go around looking unkempt. 

 

We are, of course, looking forward to finally seeing you all again. I hope you will be here soon.

With love,

Galadriel


End file.
